Greatness Starts at Home

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

Greatness is such a big word. It is both a privilege and a responsibility. You cannot be great and be oblivious to your society. Think Tandang Sora, Teresa Magbanua and Gabriela Silang. As much as they are shaped by times they were born into, the foundation of their greatness was laid within the four walls of their home.

Knowing this, I try to be a good example for my kids. This is a far more efficient tool in teaching them the values that they need for life than just words. I want them to dream big and strive for it. But one thing I also impress in them is social responsibility. If they want to reach for the stars, they should do it with the people, and not at their cost.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

Eversince my daughter, the eldest, was small, I have trained her to sort her stuff, clothes and toys alike, into two groups, To Keep and To Giveaway.  Although I regularly ask her to do this, our biggest activity was after Typhoon Ondoy ravaged the metro. We were one of the families who fell victim to nature’s wrath but we were still better off than others. So after, cleaning up, our family – each carrying a pack of clothes or provisions- went to the nearest gasoline station that takes in donations.

And it seems my efforts has paid off. In one contest sponsored by Citizen’s Disaster Response Center in 2010, she sent an entry for the earthquake category. It wasn’t anything fancy but it rang with the honesty of a child and the wisdom of an adult.

Though she didn’t win the Grand prize and was only one of the finalists, at 6 years old, she was the contest’s youngest participant and finalist!

I was especially proud of her because the contest piece that we entered was entirely her own concept. She drew was a picture of earthquake-damaged houses. Below, you’ll see people with plastic bags containing donations, practice she is quite familiar with.

Here's her entry!

Yes, that's Zoren Legaspi in the picture!

You may strive to be like them, 

                                                                        but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

Besides this, my daughter also shows compassion. It was more than I would expect from a 6 year old. When my grandmother died that same year, she drew a picture of my grandma and her house in the province. It had trees. The sun was shining high and there were birds in the air.

It was a simple goodbye to her great-grandma that beats any verbose letter.

She placed it on top of the casket and inspired others to do the same. The few days before the interment, another letter of farewell sits atop the casket beside my daughter’s own.

It’s just too bad that nobody thought of taking a picture of it. It offers a peek into how a child deals with death, or anything negative for that matter, and turns it into something that productive and positive.

At home with measles, doodling around.

You are the bows from which your children

                                                                         as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, 

and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

But after everything has been said and done, I really cannot push my daughter to be someone else other than herself. Meaning, I do not and will not impose on my daughter my own vision of her. Kahlil Gibran was spot on when he wrote that our children are not our children. As much as I would like to take control of my daughter, I can only guide her into pursuing what she wants to be, exploring her passions and expanding her horizon, and hope that she turns out to be a strong woman aware of her personal rights and social responsibilities with a good head on her shoulders and a golden heart. 

And that would be greatness in every sense of the word. Indeed.

 Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, 

so He loves also the bow that is stable.

- Kahlil Gibran's

On Children