Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.
Greatness is such a big word. It is both a privilege and a responsibility.
You cannot be great and be oblivious to your society. Think Tandang Sora,
Teresa Magbanua and Gabriela Silang. As much as they are shaped by times they
were born into, the foundation of their greatness was laid within the four
walls of their home.
Knowing this, I try to be a good example for my kids. This
is a far more efficient tool in teaching them the values that they need for
life than just words. I want them to dream big and strive for it. But one thing
I also impress in them is social responsibility. If they want to reach for the
stars, they should do it with the people, and not at their cost.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
Eversince my daughter, the eldest, was small, I have trained
her to sort her stuff, clothes and toys alike, into two groups, To Keep and To
Giveaway. Although I regularly ask her
to do this, our biggest activity was after Typhoon Ondoy ravaged the metro. We
were one of the families who fell victim to nature’s wrath but we were still
better off than others. So after, cleaning up, our family – each carrying a
pack of clothes or provisions- went to the nearest gasoline station that takes
in donations.
And it seems my efforts has paid off. In one contest
sponsored by Citizen’s Disaster Response Center in 2010, she sent an entry for
the earthquake category. It wasn’t anything fancy but it rang with the honesty
of a child and the wisdom of an adult.
Though she didn’t win the Grand prize and was only one of
the finalists, at 6 years old, she was the contest’s youngest participant and
finalist!
I was especially proud of her because the contest piece that
we entered was entirely her own concept. She drew was a picture of earthquake-damaged
houses. Below, you’ll see people with plastic bags containing donations,
practice she is quite familiar with.
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| Here's her entry! |
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| Yes, that's Zoren Legaspi in the picture! |
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.
Besides this, my daughter also shows compassion. It was more than I would expect from a 6 year old. When my
grandmother died that same year, she drew a picture of my grandma and her house
in the province. It had trees. The sun was shining high and there were birds in
the air.
It was a simple goodbye to her great-grandma that beats any
verbose letter.
She placed it on top of the casket and inspired others to do
the same. The few days before the interment, another letter of farewell sits
atop the casket beside my daughter’s own.
It’s just too bad that nobody thought of taking a picture of
it. It offers a peek into how a child deals with death, or anything negative for that matter, and turns it into
something that productive and positive.
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| At home with measles, doodling around. |
You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.
But after everything has been said and done, I really cannot
push my daughter to be someone else other than herself. Meaning, I do not and
will not impose on my daughter my own vision of her. Kahlil Gibran was spot on when he wrote that our children are not our children. As much as I would like to take control of my daughter, I can only guide her into
pursuing what she wants to be, exploring her passions and expanding her
horizon, and hope that she turns out to be a strong woman aware of her personal
rights and social responsibilities with a good head on her shoulders and a
golden heart.
And that would be greatness in every sense of the word. Indeed.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.
